Essential tips for parents

Protecting Your Teen from Cyberbullying

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Cyberbullying is the use of digital platforms—such as chat forums and social media—to harass others or spread hurtful messages. When cyberbullies share comments, photos, or posts about their victims, they create a public record that countless strangers can see. Such toxic behavior can damage a teen’s reputation, making it harder to get into their dream college or land a job.

Even more troubling, these psychological attacks can adversely affect an adolescent’s mental health. According to StopBullying.gov, over 15% of high school students have been victims of cyberbullying. It’s even worse for LGBTQ+ students. Shockingly, over half have experienced online bullying—a stark reminder of the daily discrimination and hostility they face.

Embarrassing images can be shared repeatedly, inflicting deep emotional pain and leaving victims feeling humiliated and heartbroken. Vicious comments about one’s race, religion, or ethnicity can leave scars that never fully heal. Among the most terrifying forms of cyberbullying is doxing—sharing someone’s private information, such as addresses and social security numbers. Doxing can compromise not only a child’s privacy but also that of their parents. 

The insidious nature of cyber harassment

Unlike traditional teen bullying, which typically occurs during school hours, cyberbullying can happen anytime and anywhere. Because many students have internet access most of the day, they can be targeted morning, noon, and night.

Cyberbullying is also relatively easy for the bully. First, there is typically physical distance between them and their victim. Unable to witness the immediate reaction of their target, bullies may not fully realize the real-world pain they’re causing. Cyberbullying can also be hidden through various apps that allow users to post without revealing their identity, reducing fear of being caught. Victims might not even know who’s behind the hurtful behavior, which can make the experience more distressing. 

An especially troubling aspect of teenage bullying via the internet is its permanence. Once something is shared online, it is nearly impossible to delete. Even if the original post is removed, others might have copied, shared, or saved it. This means that the hurtful content can haunt victims indefinitely, adversely affecting their mental health and well-being long after the initial incident.

However, permanence has an upside. Unlike physical or emotional bullying, cyberbullying leaves a digital footprint. A parent can document posted words, images, or videos through screenshots or saved URLs and texts. This evidence provides a record that can be shown to parents, teachers, or the police, helping to hold the bully accountable and protect the victim.

Is cyberbullying illegal?

Depending on the jurisdiction, cyberbullying can be a criminal offense. Cyberbullying that involves hacking, identity theft, or distribution of explicit images or videos can result in additional charges. Some US states have specific laws that criminalize cyberbullying, while others prosecute it under existing harassment laws. 

Types of bullying

Cyberbullying can take many forms, including 

  • Verbal bullying: Verbally harassing someone online, such as through name-calling, insults, or threats.
  • Social bullying: Using social media to spread rumors or share embarrassing information or photos.
  • Cyberstalking: Using technology to stalk someone, such as tracking their location or sending them threatening messages.
  • Trolling: Posting inflammatory or offensive comments online to provoke a reaction.
  • Impersonation: Pretending to be someone else online to harm their reputation or relationships.
  • Emotional bullying: Continually criticizing or belittling someone online.

Signs of bullying 

Here are some signs that a teen may have been cyberbullied:

  • Anxiety or fear about using the internet or social media
  • Withdrawal from online activities or avoidance of certain platforms
  • Unwillingness to discuss online experiences
  • Sudden decision to change online profiles or delete accounts
  • Fear of receiving notifications or online messages
  • Obsessive checking of online accounts 

If someone has a risk factor for bullying, what does that mean?

Those who have one or more of the following risk factors are more likely to be a target for bullies:

  • Being seen as different
  • Having a disability or medical condition
  • Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community 
  • Being a minority or immigrant
  • Suffering from low self-esteem or anxiety
  • Being a new student
  • Having a body shape or size than differs from average

Why do people bully?

Adolescents who grow up in families where aggression or violence is common often think bullying is perfectly normal behavior. They’ve been surrounded by it for so long that it becomes their way of interacting with others.

Similarly, teens who’ve been bullied sometimes become bullies themselves. It’s their way of trying to regain the power stolen from them. 

Some high school bullies use the internet to belittle others because they struggle with low self-esteem. Harassing peers is a way to compensate for perceived inadequacies and feel a momentary sense of superiority.

Lack of parental involvement can also contribute to bullying behavior. When teens don’t get guidance, support, or attention at home, they may seek validation elsewhere. This can lead them to torment others online, where they can feed off the reactions of others, even if they’re negative. 

Consequences of cyberbullying

The consequences of cyberbullying can be severe and long-lasting, affecting a teen’s mental health, well-being, and general quality of life. Some common consequences include 

  • Anxiety and depression
  • Low self-esteem and self-confidence
  • Suicidal thoughts and attempts
  • Difficulty sleeping and concentrating
  • Poor academic performance
  • Social withdrawal and avoidance
  • Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities and hobbies
  • Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness
  • Difficulty forming healthy relationships

How to prevent cyberbullying

Take steps to protect your child

When teens post personal information online, they open themselves to dangers like cyberbullying, data misuse, and exposure to harmful content. This can include violent and racist material shared by an adult bully. Ensuring that your child understands the risks of internet use is therefore crucial. 

Start by reviewing their friend lists with them, helping them identify and remove any suspicious or fake accounts. Teach them to report harassing comments or inappropriate photos. Regularly discuss what’s okay to share, post, and look at online. You can also minimize risks by setting up privacy controls on your kids’ devices and accounts, ensuring their content remains private.

Here are some other things you can do to keep your child safe: 

  • Follow their social media accounts: This will allow you to stay up to date on what’s going on in their online world. 
  • Monitor their browsing history: By reviewing the sites they visit, you can check whether your teen is exploring cyberspace areas that are off-limits. 
  • Know their passwords: This can be a touchy subject, but it’s about safety. Explain that this is a way to protect them, not invade their privacy.

Document everything

When your teen is a victim of cyberbullying, documenting harmful messages, posts, and comments is crucial. Take screenshots and save them to your phone. This evidence can help convey the severity of the issue to school officials and even the police if it comes to that. 

Also, keep a detailed record of every conversation you have with your teen about the bullying. This can help establish a pattern of abusive behavior, making it more likely that those with the power to do something about the abuse take it seriously. 

Don’t vent on social media

When your teen is being bullied, it can be tempting to talk about the problem on social media. You might think sharing the experience will drum up support and allow you to vent your frustration and anger, but it often has the opposite effect. Publicly posting about your child’s struggles can attract unwanted attention and could make your child feel even more vulnerable and exposed. 

There are many ways to seek help without putting your child’s experiences on display. Reach out to friends, family members, or mental health professionals. Schools, counselors, and local support groups can also provide assistance.

Use digital monitoring apps

Digital monitoring apps and software can be invaluable tools for parents looking to protect their children from cyberbullying. They provide a way to monitor your child’s online behavior without constantly looking over their shoulder, allowing you to restrict certain types of content, block specific domains, and oversee their social media activity.

There are many such tools spanning a range of prices. Free options that offer basic features can be helpful, but you might want to invest in a paid version for greater functionality. When choosing software, consider your child’s age and how they use their devices. A younger teen might benefit from strict controls and more frequent monitoring. However, older adolescents typically do better with more freedom and trust. The goal is to balance keeping your child safe with respecting their need for privacy.

How online counseling can help your bullied kid  

If your teen is struggling with mental health challenges caused or exacerbated by cyberbullying, there’s a way to help that you might not have considered: online counseling. Many teens can’t attend in-person therapy due to busy schedules or because they live in remote locations. Online teen therapy is a convenient way for such adolescents to get the treatment and support they need without leaving home.

This therapeutic approach can help youth facing various mental health issues related to cyberbullying, including depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. Virtual therapy allows teens to express their feelings without the pressure of face-to-face interactions, which is particularly important for those who feel embarrassed or self-conscious about getting help. 

Final thoughts  

Cyberbullying is a problem affecting millions of high school students every day, and it can have devastating effects on mental health. By understanding the nature of cyberbullying and its causes and consequences, you can take effective steps toward preventing it and mitigating its adverse effects.